Pictures of Food, Daily Outfits, Celebrity Gossip

Pictures of Food, Daily Outfits, Celebrity Gossip & 10 Productivity Tips! With occasional digressions into cats and vampires.

Anonymous asked: Pretty sure you've always wanted to see me naked.. Well.. I'm feeling pretty adventurous today so go to datelink4(dot)com (switch [dot] with .) then sign up and find my profile under the username 'lolsummer69'. I hid my face in the pictures. but I want you to guess who I am and then hit me up on Facebook lol. Good luck.

Robert, this is just not romantic at all. I’m not taking you back - I have a fabulous new life in Texas now, and I need you to accept that. 

I’m Pretty Sure…

…that I’ve arrived in Texas. Either Texas or Arizona or New Mexico. Or Arkansas. I have to think about it for awhile. Also, I left a lot of stuff I meant to pack, like the part of my brain that makes funny blogs, so I have to have someone ship that out to me. And so, you know, it’s going to be quiet around here for awhile longer, while I figure out which state I’m in, and where I left my personality, and what it was I came out here for. You know how it is when you get all flustered some days and can’t remember what point you were trying to make with your life?

But I think if I just throw out all these old receipts that are cluttering up my wallet, and if I moisturize every night and arrange my shoes so that they’re all pointing North, and if I really read the New Yorker - you know, really read it, not just skim it - I think if I do all those things, I’ll probably remember how to write this blog.

Meanwhile, do you guys ever think that maybe celebrities disappear when we close our eyes? Ha ha, I know, I am such a narcissist!

preppyprincessemily asked: I seriously hope that was sarcasm. The main character was played by Kristen Wiig.

Hi gwynethsgirl!

I think you’re confused. Kristen Wiig is really busy with the Twilight movies, and she has brown hair. Are you getting Bridesmaids mixed up with The Social Network? Because Kristen was in that one…

Anyway, thanks for writing!

Love,
Foodoutfits  

preppyprincessemily asked: um... Gwyneth Paltrow wasn't IN Bridesmaids.

Ha, ha, she was the main one, silly! You’re so silly! 

Argh, you guyyyyyiiiiiisssss, I am the worst! I am SO super busy busy busy with being sad and confused amazing busy life stuff right now, I just haven’t had a second to revel in the never-ending cavalcade of Daily Outfits and lovely meals and poetical indoor scenery and celebrity happenings that is this amazing, dizzying, glorious life we all lead!!! On Tumblr!!!
Basically, Robert and I are preparing for yet another cross-country move (for some reason, we have really frustrating crazy “I can’t think of anything to do but call the cops five times a day” neighbors everywhere we live), and moving is really stressful for us, because I’m all, “I think we should break up!” and Robert is all “I need a higher SPF than this - I don’t care what the government says!” You know how couples are.  
But I did want to pop in briefly and say that I saw Bridesmaids yesterday, and I thought Gwyneth Paltrow was adorable in it. And it’s so cute how she and Blythe Danner always play mother-and-daughter! But I do have to say, I think Gwyn is getting a little long-in-the-tooth to play these cute young fuck-ups anymore. I mean, she looked a little haggard in this. Come on, Gwyn! There are plenty of awesome sexy roles for older blond women! Let Carey Milligan have a turn already!

Argh, you guyyyyyiiiiiisssss, I am the worst! I am SO super busy busy busy with being sad and confused amazing busy life stuff right now, I just haven’t had a second to revel in the never-ending cavalcade of Daily Outfits and lovely meals and poetical indoor scenery and celebrity happenings that is this amazing, dizzying, glorious life we all lead!!! On Tumblr!!!

Basically, Robert and I are preparing for yet another cross-country move (for some reason, we have really frustrating crazy “I can’t think of anything to do but call the cops five times a day” neighbors everywhere we live), and moving is really stressful for us, because I’m all, “I think we should break up!” and Robert is all “I need a higher SPF than this - I don’t care what the government says!” You know how couples are.  

But I did want to pop in briefly and say that I saw Bridesmaids yesterday, and I thought Gwyneth Paltrow was adorable in it. And it’s so cute how she and Blythe Danner always play mother-and-daughter! But I do have to say, I think Gwyn is getting a little long-in-the-tooth to play these cute young fuck-ups anymore. I mean, she looked a little haggard in this. Come on, Gwyn! There are plenty of awesome sexy roles for older blond women! Let Carey Milligan have a turn already!

Anonymous asked: Mary Louis Parker????? LOL Justin theroux's ex-girlfriend's name is Heidi Bivens! inform yourself before writing anything, woman.

Anonymous, 

If you were a regular reader of Foodoutfits, you’d know that fully informed celebrity reportage is one of our chief aims. Robert does all my fact-checking, and we are entirely confident in the veracity of this story.

Besides, come on, Anonymous, Heidi Bivens was married to Spencer Pratt, not Justin Theroux. It’s like you’ve never even turned on a TV before! It’s lucky you’ve found my site.  

Thanks for reading!
Foodoutfits 

Daily Outfit: Pajamas!

As technology improves, more and more of us work from home, or from the library, or a bus shelter, or the Betty Ford Clinic, and we don’t technically have a “dress code”. We don’t technically “see other people” during the day; we don’t always exactly “leave the house.” But that’s no reason to sacrifice our love of Daily Outfits! We all want to dress with the care, and the attention to detail, that our rich inner lives demand. 

Listen, though, who says you can’t have a fashionable and artistic day at home in your comfiest pair of PJs from time to time? For example, today, like so many days, I didn’t really see the point in getting dressed, but I still looked chic and put-together, and I still went through the Four Stages of a Successful Daily Outfit:  

Wistful and contemplative:

Joyful/carefree/full of laughter/frolicsome:

Wistful and contemplative (seated):

And apoplectic:

Darlings, je ne donne pas vraiment une baise ce que vous portez, et ni faire vos amis imaginaires! Bisous! 

Life Tip: Saying “Yes”

Sometimes, if you find yourself stuck in your career or your personal relationship, a good thing to pay attention to is whether or not you’re saying yes. A lot of times, when people ask us a question, like “Do you have management experience?” or “Do you love me?”, we have a tendency to stop and consider the answer. But, guys! For successful individuals, there is only one answer for any question ever: “Yes!” Trust me. This is the missing key to your life. Practice saying yes to the following questions:

Q: “Are you familiar with Quickbooks?”
A: “Yes!”

Q: “Do you consider yourself a people person?”
A: “Yes!”

Q: “Do you want to get a coffee sometime?”
A: “Yes!”

Q: “Do you have a doctorate in urban planning?”
A: “Yes!”

Q: “Have you ever been convicted of a felony?”
A: “Yes!”  

Q: “Do you see us as still together ten years from now?”
A: “Yes!” 

Q: “Do you see yourself still with this company ten years from now?”
A: “Yes!” 

Q: “Are you willing to relocate to Oymyakon?”
A: “Yes!”

Q: “Do you respect me at all?”
A: “Yes!” 

Q: “I see you’re quintlingual. What languages do you speak?”
A: “Yes!” 

Yesterday, while Lindsay Lohan was making yet another court appearance in her long-running copyright infringement lawsuit, her ex-girlfriend Sam Ronson got tackled to the ground outside Macy’s Department Store!
This is SHOCKING!, but also? It’s not really shocking. As a former New Yorker, I can tell you, shit gets real outside of Macy’s. You really have to keep moving, or it can quickly become a trample situation. Now, Sam is from LA, and those people tend to meander all over the sidewalk, so I can see how this would happen. 
Incidentally, I note that Sam was there promoting her new fragrance line! I’m not particularly interested, as I’m pretty wedded to my Curious by Britney Spears, but some of you might want to give it a go. As summer heats up, I’ve been noticing a lot of people smelling really bad out there. 
(via)

Yesterday, while Lindsay Lohan was making yet another court appearance in her long-running copyright infringement lawsuit, her ex-girlfriend Sam Ronson got tackled to the ground outside Macy’s Department Store!

This is SHOCKING!, but also? It’s not really shocking. As a former New Yorker, I can tell you, shit gets real outside of Macy’s. You really have to keep moving, or it can quickly become a trample situation. Now, Sam is from LA, and those people tend to meander all over the sidewalk, so I can see how this would happen. 

Incidentally, I note that Sam was there promoting her new fragrance line! I’m not particularly interested, as I’m pretty wedded to my Curious by Britney Spears, but some of you might want to give it a go. As summer heats up, I’ve been noticing a lot of people smelling really bad out there. 

(via)

Picture of Food: Some Vegetables!

Sometimes, I like to look and see what’s in my fridge, throw it all in a bowl, and eat it! Like the other day, I took a nice cucumber, a beautiful tomato, some well-mannered snap peas, and a log of witty and insightful mozzarella, sliced it all up, drizzled it with a teensy bit of precocious and somewhat insubordinate olive oil, and ate it slowly and without much enjoyment!

Ah, summery fresh-ish vegetables eaten in the soft, ambient glow of an ever-present Macbook. This type of improvised meal just makes me think of June, and every other month! 

Jennifer Aniston, What Have You Done?

Well, there’s a terrible scandal a-brewin’ in Hollywood-town. It appears that Jennifer Aniston, America’s favorite dumped girl next door, has stolen Justin Theroux from Mary Louise Parker…while Mary Louise is pregnant with his baby! 

This is really disappointing, for several reasons. First of all, it’s always sad when celebrities do something immoral, because we all want so badly to look up to them since we look at them all day anyway. Second of all, I just think Mary Louise and Justin are ADORABLE together on Weeds! They clearly have so much chemistry, and that can’t all be acting. Lastly, I really don’t know what Mary Louise was thinking bleaching her hair. It looks terrible. And I don’t like Justin’s beard, either.

Jenn looks fine, I guess, but then, she never takes any really big risks, does she? 

(via)

Cat Photo!
"See, this is why I get so angry," this kitty is thinking. "They tell me, ‘Roger, be in at 7 tomorrow. We really need you in at 7. You must be in at 7. Don’t be a minute late!’ So I come in at 7, and look what happens! Here it is, 9:30, and I’m still just standing here! They don’t need me for any of this shit! And I’m not surprised. I’m not surprised at all, because this is every day with these people. Oh, it’s all the time. They have no respect for my time. And they’re idiots who couldn’t organize a…a freaking…a, I don’t know, a school bake sale - and ok, now I’m getting mad. I’m getting mad, and I just need to…I’m working myself up about it, and there’s no point! No point at all. You can’t do anything about it, and there’s just no point."
Awww, siwwy kiddy!!!  

Make-Up Tutorial! Fresh, Bare, Summer Face

A lot of you have remarked on my bare, clean, no-makeup look, and have said, “Foodoutfits, how do you attain such a fresh, all-natural bare face look?” Well, it’s really simple, and today I’m going to teach you how!

Step One: Wake up.

Step Two: Do not apply any make-up.

That’s it! It just might be the easiest makeup routine you’ll ever follow!

The bare, natural look can be sexy:

Or professional:

It works for any situation, really. Give it a try! 

 
Look at this couple! I mean, did you ever? I confronted Robert with this photo this morning, and said, “Look, Robert! We need to start doing more photoshoots of ourselves in which we look beautiful and young and hazy and possessing of mystique, so that strangers on the internet will want to fuck our lives! And with the books! Why have we just been poetically stacking books like last year’s news, when we should have taken the next step and poetically papered natural objects with their pages? We could have thought of that! Damn it, we’re smart people!” 
Quite the fight ensued and, long story short, Robert’s gone to live at a Red Roof Inn for awhile.
Y’all remember I said I missed a ton of important developments in celeb “life” since I went on vacation for so long? Well, one thing I CAN’T BELIEVE I MISSED is that 90210 remount star Ann Coulter is dating 90s heart throb Jonathan Taylor Thomas! Who expected that?!?! Is it just me, or are there a lot of celebrity odd couples running around right now? Must be the heat.
Anyway, according to People Magazine, Ann & JTT seemed like they were about to break up, but then they got some coffee, and then they went to Italy. Hang in there, love birds! 

Y’all remember I said I missed a ton of important developments in celeb “life” since I went on vacation for so long? Well, one thing I CAN’T BELIEVE I MISSED is that 90210 remount star Ann Coulter is dating 90s heart throb Jonathan Taylor Thomas! Who expected that?!?! Is it just me, or are there a lot of celebrity odd couples running around right now? Must be the heat.

Anyway, according to People Magazine, Ann & JTT seemed like they were about to break up, but then they got some coffee, and then they went to Italy. Hang in there, love birds!