Anonymous asked: Pretty sure you've always wanted to see me naked.. Well.. I'm feeling pretty adventurous today so go to datelink4(dot)com (switch [dot] with .) then sign up and find my profile under the username 'lolsummer69'. I hid my face in the pictures. but I want you to guess who I am and then hit me up on Facebook lol. Good luck.
Robert, this is just not romantic at all. I’m not taking you back - I have a fabulous new life in Texas now, and I need you to accept that.
…that I’ve arrived in Texas. Either Texas or Arizona or New Mexico. Or Arkansas. I have to think about it for awhile. Also, I left a lot of stuff I meant to pack, like the part of my brain that makes funny blogs, so I have to have someone ship that out to me. And so, you know, it’s going to be quiet around here for awhile longer, while I figure out which state I’m in, and where I left my personality, and what it was I came out here for. You know how it is when you get all flustered some days and can’t remember what point you were trying to make with your life?
But I think if I just throw out all these old receipts that are cluttering up my wallet, and if I moisturize every night and arrange my shoes so that they’re all pointing North, and if I really read the New Yorker - you know, really read it, not just skim it - I think if I do all those things, I’ll probably remember how to write this blog.
Meanwhile, do you guys ever think that maybe celebrities disappear when we close our eyes? Ha ha, I know, I am such a narcissist!
preppyprincessemily asked: I seriously hope that was sarcasm. The main character was played by Kristen Wiig.
I think you’re confused. Kristen Wiig is really busy with the Twilight movies, and she has brown hair. Are you getting Bridesmaids mixed up with The Social Network? Because Kristen was in that one…
Anyway, thanks for writing!
preppyprincessemily asked: um... Gwyneth Paltrow wasn't IN Bridesmaids.
Ha, ha, she was the main one, silly! You’re so silly!
Anonymous asked: Mary Louis Parker????? LOL Justin theroux's ex-girlfriend's name is Heidi Bivens! inform yourself before writing anything, woman.
If you were a regular reader of Foodoutfits, you’d know that fully informed celebrity reportage is one of our chief aims. Robert does all my fact-checking, and we are entirely confident in the veracity of this story.
Besides, come on, Anonymous, Heidi Bivens was married to Spencer Pratt, not Justin Theroux. It’s like you’ve never even turned on a TV before! It’s lucky you’ve found my site.
Thanks for reading!
As technology improves, more and more of us work from home, or from the library, or a bus shelter, or the Betty Ford Clinic, and we don’t technically have a “dress code”. We don’t technically “see other people” during the day; we don’t always exactly “leave the house.” But that’s no reason to sacrifice our love of Daily Outfits! We all want to dress with the care, and the attention to detail, that our rich inner lives demand.
Listen, though, who says you can’t have a fashionable and artistic day at home in your comfiest pair of PJs from time to time? For example, today, like so many days, I didn’t really see the point in getting dressed, but I still looked chic and put-together, and I still went through the Four Stages of a Successful Daily Outfit:
Wistful and contemplative:
Joyful/carefree/full of laughter/frolicsome:
Wistful and contemplative (seated):
Darlings, je ne donne pas vraiment une baise ce que vous portez, et ni faire vos amis imaginaires! Bisous!
Sometimes, if you find yourself stuck in your career or your personal relationship, a good thing to pay attention to is whether or not you’re saying yes. A lot of times, when people ask us a question, like “Do you have management experience?” or “Do you love me?”, we have a tendency to stop and consider the answer. But, guys! For successful individuals, there is only one answer for any question ever: “Yes!” Trust me. This is the missing key to your life. Practice saying yes to the following questions:
Q: “Are you familiar with Quickbooks?”
Q: “Do you consider yourself a people person?”
Q: “Do you want to get a coffee sometime?”
Q: “Do you have a doctorate in urban planning?”
Q: “Have you ever been convicted of a felony?”
Q: “Do you see us as still together ten years from now?”
Q: “Do you see yourself still with this company ten years from now?”
Q: “Are you willing to relocate to Oymyakon?”
Q: “Do you respect me at all?”
Q: “I see you’re quintlingual. What languages do you speak?”
Sometimes, I like to look and see what’s in my fridge, throw it all in a bowl, and eat it! Like the other day, I took a nice cucumber, a beautiful tomato, some well-mannered snap peas, and a log of witty and insightful mozzarella, sliced it all up, drizzled it with a teensy bit of precocious and somewhat insubordinate olive oil, and ate it slowly and without much enjoyment!
Ah, summery fresh-ish vegetables eaten in the soft, ambient glow of an ever-present Macbook. This type of improvised meal just makes me think of June, and every other month!
Well, there’s a terrible scandal a-brewin’ in Hollywood-town. It appears that Jennifer Aniston, America’s favorite dumped girl next door, has stolen Justin Theroux from Mary Louise Parker…while Mary Louise is pregnant with his baby!
This is really disappointing, for several reasons. First of all, it’s always sad when celebrities do something immoral, because we all want so badly to look up to them since we look at them all day anyway. Second of all, I just think Mary Louise and Justin are ADORABLE together on Weeds! They clearly have so much chemistry, and that can’t all be acting. Lastly, I really don’t know what Mary Louise was thinking bleaching her hair. It looks terrible. And I don’t like Justin’s beard, either.
Jenn looks fine, I guess, but then, she never takes any really big risks, does she?
A lot of you have remarked on my bare, clean, no-makeup look, and have said, “Foodoutfits, how do you attain such a fresh, all-natural bare face look?” Well, it’s really simple, and today I’m going to teach you how!
Step One: Wake up.
Step Two: Do not apply any make-up.
That’s it! It just might be the easiest makeup routine you’ll ever follow!
The bare, natural look can be sexy:
It works for any situation, really. Give it a try!